Futurama: WoT Lrrr Strikes Back Slactivism Questline

Free_Waterfall_JrfarnsworthamyURLbenderScruffy

Free Waterfall Jr. has returned from the dead to spread his activism all over our mobile devices for the cost of 180 pi.  Here’s his questline.

Slactivism Pt. 1
The Professor: Whuh?!! Aren’t you Free Waterfall Jr., the annoying hippie? I thought you died years ago, when Lrrr ate you on TV!
Free Waterfall Jr: Right on, old man. Lemme tell you, the afterlife sucks. Everything’s perfect, so there’s nothing to march around and protest about.
The Professor: But how could you possibly be alive again? This calls for some research!

Free Waterfall Jr. comes back to life. Have Free Waterfall Jr. Live Freely (1h)
Have The Professor Look Up the Life-Death Continuum (3h)

Free Waterfall Jr: Research? Look, I’m as curious as you are, but if your research is funded by military money, I’m gonna need some posterboard, a stick, and a nice clear marching area. It’s good to be back.
The Professor: I figured out why you’re alive! The Hypnowave catastrophe seems to have caused a rift in the boundary between life and death — just large enough for you to squeeze through!
The Professor: You’re like a filth-encrusted Jesus!
Free Waterfall Jr: Freaky! It’s like a sign the universe still needs me to cure all its problems!
The Professor I really think it’s more of an accidental–
Free Waterfall Jr: Hang tight, universe! I’m rededicating myself to saving you through non-stop, socially conscious mindfulness!

Goal complete: Slativism Pt. 1 (75 XP, 50 Weed)

Slactivism Pt 2.
Free Waterfall Jr: I’m on a week-long crusade to reform everything. Step one: free your mind and the rest will follow. So I’m declaring a giant universe-wide yoga pose-a-thon.
Amy: I’m in, but that still leaves several trillion other sentient beings. How are you planning to get them to pose?
Free Waterfall Jr: Wtih peaceful, loving power of continuous megaphone-assisted badgering.

Free Waterfall Jr. does some yoga. Have Free Waterfall Jr. Stretch Out (3h) Have Amy Strike a Pose (5h)

URL: I’m’a have to shut your little yoga party down, hippie.
Free Waterfall Jr: Fuzz off, fuzz! I got a permit to hold an outdoor assembly.
URL : Yeah, but you’re also running an unlicensed yoga studio. That’s a class-five misdemeanor.
URL : Class-five refers to the number of beatings I’m allowed to administer. Aw yeah.

Goal complete: Slativism Pt. 2 (75 XP, 50 Weed)

Slactivism Pt. 3
Free Waterfall Jr: Violence is not the answer, pig. Come on, join me in celebrating peace and love by lighting up in public.
URL : I’d like to, man, but I’m on duty.
Free Waterfall Jr: The stuff I’m proposing we light up is not illegal in this jurisdiction.
URL : Yeah, but I got work to do. Department issued me ten confessions, and if I don’t find people to sign ’em by five o’clock, they gonna suspend my break room privileges.

Free Waterfall Jr. smokes in protest. Have Free Waterfall Jr. Smoke and Toke (4h) Have URL Beat Perps Senseless (2h)

URL : Shift’s almost over and I got two confessions left. Help an officer out by copping to burglary, my scummy hippie brother?
Free Waterfall Jr: What are you gonna do, pig? Beat me ’til I sign?
URL : Naw, man, I plan to keep beating you for awhile after that.
Free Waterfall Jr: Aren’t you forgetting that cop camera on your visor?
URL: That ain’t official, that’s my personal camera. So I can relive my beatings after hours at home. Aw yeah.

Goal complete: Slativism Pt. 3 (75 XP, 50 Weed)

Slactivism Pt. 4
Free Waterfall Jr: End fuzz brutality! Dismantle the police state now!
Bender : Nobody wants fewer police than I do, but I just don’t care enough to chant along with you.
Free Waterfall Jr: Hey, man, if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.
Bender : That’s exactly where I want to be.

Free Waterfall Jr. goes against the police. Have Free Waterfall Jr. Fight Police Brutality (6h) Have Bender Show Apathy (2h)

Free Waterfall Jr: Hey, man, are you sick and tired of police brutality? If you are, please sign my petition.
Scruffy : We need MORE police brutality. Planet’s under attack from undocumented immigrant gang monsters. Can’t hardly go out at night without gettin’ murdered two or three times.
Free Waterfall Jr: Really? That’s terrible!… Do you have any evidence for that?
Scruffy : Mm-hm. Gut instinct and probably false campaign speeches.

Goal complete: Slativism Pt. 4 (75 XP, 50 Weed)

Slactivism Pt. 5
Free Waterfall Jr: No more experiments! No more cages! Meat is murder!
Bender : As a mighty robot, I don’t need to eat meat.
Free Waterfall Jr: Right on, Bender! Vegans forever!
Bender: Yeah, I only do it ’cause it’s fun.

Free Waterfall Jr. does not eat meat. Have Free Waterfall Jr. Protest for Animal Rights (8h)

Free Waterfall Jr: No more experiments! No more cages! Meat is murder!
The Professor: Perhaps so, but in my experience vegetables are suicidal. Say, weren’t you planning to reform the universe in a week, starting a week ago?
Free Waterfall Jr: I know, man! I’ve been browbeating strangers for days and I haven’t improved the universe even slightly! [SNIFF] I’m a complete failure!
The Professor: Now now, stop blubbering, you complete failure… Look, you keep handing out those xeroxes and I’ll go home and free my lab monkey Harold, all right?
Free Waterfall Jr: Not good enough! Eat some flax seeds too!

Goal complete: Slativism Pt. 5 (75 XP, 50 Weed)

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This entry was posted in amy, bender, Episode 1: Lrr Strikes Back, event, free waterfall jr, futurama, premium, professor farnsworth, Scruffy, URL. Bookmark the permalink.

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